Going Commando: Mumbai Heat

I heard the news today, Oh Boy …..
We have been pissing ourselves with glee as the page3 tip of the
Island has taken over all 24 hours of the news cycle on CNN and the BBC. Witlessly thrilling at the desi news channel logos popping up in the upper corners of western TV screens even as they seek to black out the chaddi adverts running at the bottom.

We cringe, mid snooze, even as the post-electoral Jonathan Mann explains the etymology of the Deccan "Peninsula", and wield the remote just in time to see Srinivasan Jain's beard crossfade into the billowing smoke.

Our reverie is tempered at times now by the desire to voodoo pinch Arnab's balls each time he whoops pompously about "your channel". But he is just doing his thing even as he is being (pooper)scooped by his yellow fellow journalists who may have even gone so far as to stage the nautanki of an aatanki terr-O-drama fone-in.

As the assorted criminal incompetencies of the good guys (no hotel blueprints?!) and the obvious capabilities of the bad guys makes it though a second tragic day, we are enslaved in the ultimate slow circle jerk and the bad guys have just upped their game. Amidst the compelling TV, it would appear that this is the opening gambit of a larger strategy.


As with the airplane attacks on the WTC Towers and Pentagon, one's first reaction (unabashedly acknowledged) was an awe for the men who did it. To plan and work towards your own death over months; the self discipline to execute complex, skilled procedures as your world ends requires courage and belief one could never have.

What one does have is perspective.

The successful strategy, tactics and coolheaded execution of a many-layered suicide mission point to a special-forces facilitation, if not actual operation. The field commanders would have had to recce and case the targets in great detail and drill their teams through possible scenarios in mocked-up environs. The force would have to be drawn from elite, battle-tested units; fighters who have fought together previously.

The quality of intel, planning, resources and execution almost certainly excludes the possibilities of any homegrown Mujahideen; still at the cycle-bomb and crude car-bomb stage. If the Kashmiri groups have the capability, they would prefer to target the security forces or Government in
Srinagar or New Delhi. This doesn't really help their cause.

As noises are being made about Al-Qaeda and/or the LeT, we reserve judgement and try to see what we do know and can infer.
Two standout points of the entire operation are
1. The explicit aim to stoke Western outrage and the blatant Pakistan connections coming to light.
2. The timing with regard to Bush's presidency, offering India has enormous political capital to claim redress.

Initial reports from a captured operative indicate he is from Faridkot in Pakistani Punjab, and yet we must ask: Cui bono? Who benefits?

Manmohan "SloMo" Singh has actually worked up the gumption to demand from Asif "Mr. 33.33%" Zardari that the ISI Chief be sent over for a good buggering. Hands-free Zardari was having a Palin moment and barely paused mid-stroke to not only agree with alacrity, but also to send the Army Chief over for some ass-to-mouth later. Pranab "Bedhead" Mukherji and Shivraj "How does he still have a job?" Patil are probably clanging bedpans with glee at the thought of expectorating their outrage to Generals Pasha and Kayani in person, and on TV generally, and are probably quite willing to let it be at that - until the next big fuck up. By which time it would be Somebody Else's Problem.

However, Zardari has also been caught unawares. He really digs India and benefits least from renewed friction on this front. Even as he moves to finesse the generals, figuring it will buy him some American goodwill and SMS votes when he appears on next season's BiggBoss, one key player is yet to be mentioned.

Bombay, Karachi and the Tapko-ing of 3 top cops can only lead to one man; one who either has a big hand in this or is being set up. More soon …

Watch this space.
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By Samir Parker & Maya Ganesh